Fine jokes

- I am not acquainted - I have a boyfriend.
- Still Say, ...

At work, always give 100 %:.
12% Monday 23% Tuesday 40% Wednesday 20% Thursday and 5% on Friday!.

- Mom! .
- I told you - winter in the street! .

the most stupid way of falling into hell - a trip on the gates of heaven, and say: ' BL. Th '.

At the bus stop is a girl in tight jeans well oche. Passes by and the guy could not help saying, ' As soon as you can get into those tight jeans!? '. Girl: ' First, the restaurant. '.

restaurant:.
- BRM. ah. BRM. Hmm.
- Listening to you.
- HDC. HDC. ahem. gB. HDC. BPD.
- Vodka?.
- Mldts. BPD.

With cries of ' Bear! .

- I have a birthday on the nose.
- I can imagine where you have a wedding.

He left yesterday, laptop on the floor, half sticking out from under the bed: wife's mother thought that the scales - has become a test weight. In short, the $ 1,500 reptile weighs.

Did you know that:.
Yopti - a Russian Bigfoot.


Cowboy shouts.
- You know that I had the fastest hand on all the Wild West.
- I prefer a woman, - calmly replied the other.

Two friends agreed that when one of them will get married, the other will give her an expensive ' nightie '. And then came the turn of one of them, and a friend gives her a beautiful silk nightgown. After a while, and met another married. The first friend gives her a beautiful. scarf!.
- My dear! .
- Yes, this is the use of ' nightie ' - still in the morning on the neck telepatsya be!.

The girls swam in the lake. Their hopes were dashed.

Caucasian, recently arrived in Moscow from the village, the bar is glued to a beautiful girl:.
- Come on, I uvezu tebya sebe to the mountains! .
- I heard that you're there fucking pigs, goats, cows, geese:.
Caucasian, rolling his eyes:.
- GUSEY??.

I think I began to realize what a virtual communication.
Familiar sea, and no one to fuck.

He listened to her with taking out.


In medical school professor asks a student:.
- Tell me, how many sperm a man distinguishes at once?.
- Full- mouth, a professor of.

A young couple (he is ) sitting on a park bench and kiss. And then she does not stand up and says:.
- I want you! .
- I love you too!.
- Come home to me.
- Come. And so begins the most important thing and the guy still can not paste. At this point, she asks:.
- And you did so, the end is inserted?.

A man comes to the pharmacy:.
- Give a pack of condoms.
- What size?.
- Yes, I do not know.
- Then that's what. Take this board with holes, go to the toilet and pomerte. After 10 minutes the man returned to:.
- I changed my mind. I do not need condoms. How much did you get this board?.

- Honey, the doctor told me that I would never be able to have children.
- Thank God damn pedophile.

There are two representatives of sexual minorities. One other said:.
- You know, dear, I have a New Year's Eve was a case! .
- Hey, this is for you Santa Claus came!.
- Yes?. That's just it initially was with me so cold!.

At one wedding, a fight broke out, all participants were arrested. There is a trial. The judge asked one of the participants:.
- Tell us, because of what started the fight?.
- I am a frequent guest at weddings in our area, and I was allowed to dance with the bride first dance. So, we will dance the first dance, then begins the second dance, we continue to dance, then a third dance. Suddenly, the groom gets up from the table, ran towards us and hit with full force kick between the legs of the bride.
- Oh -oh-oh, he must have succumbed to heavy damage.
- Harm? .

Cool thing- hungover.
You do not have a headache that your boss a rare pi @ op.
You do not have a headache that comes to your mother-in-law.
You do not have a headache that bad your child is learning.
Your head will just dull ache.

Girl: ' Do you have motherwort? '.
Pharmacist: ' There. In tinctures, and in the grass. '.
Woman: ...

--- B @ I, came the director saw that I play in LineAge. in five minutes. asked to come to his office.
--- Yyyyy Ischesch work?.
Nope ---. He sold me the armor %) for 12kk. expensive suuuko. but there was no choice.

The United States of America - it is nurses of the world: they attack the weak and sick country.

Conscience - a quiet voice, reminiscent of that for you can spy on!.

When a young secretary came to the IT department, all programmers instinctively do CTRL V.

At school I was waiting for a weekend. Tuesday - three days left. and on Thursday only one!.
At the university I did not care how soon the weekend. Because I did not attend on weekdays.
Now I also do not care. Because I work on weekends too.
© Wisekaa.

Today, Yuri Luzhkov promised that during 2007, all military, standing in line for apartments, they will.
We also recall that yesterday, Yuri Mikhailovich injured his head, a skiing.

Among my favorite films ' Avseq001. dat ',' Video. avi ' and ' Videoout. avi ' a couple of years ago added a collection of ' VIDEO_TS ', famous masterpieces such as ' Vts_01_1. vob ',' Vts_01_2. vob ' and many other immortal works of world cinema.
( c) Halibut.

- Why do men think their penis is a magic wand that can make happy any woman?.
- Because this is the case.

Wife programmer:.
- My dear, we will have a baby!.
Programmer:.
- Do you want to say that I went out incorrectly?.

- What's worse -Windows 98 or Windows XP?.
- Yes.

A very ugly woman walks into a store with his two sons. Sold it asks:.
- They are twins?.
Woman in shock:.
- What do you mean! . Why do you ask?.
- I just can not understand who could have tr * hnut you twice??.

News of show business:.
From left Arcadia Ukupnik stylist. Da-Da -Da! .

Ireland. Near one of the pubs are fighting.
By fighting fit men and asks:.
- Excuse me, is a private fight, or is open to all?.

We bought 4 kg of meat on skewers, put razmorazhivatsya and went for a beer while walking ( 2 hours - 3) the meat was gone, the cat ate, pobesilis but do nothing, weighed the cat - just 4 kg, all arose a question of fact and where the cat.

We have worked here for five minutes, worked, worked, worked. Then a quick rest for an hour. Then again, five minutes of work, work.

Malevolent creature that lives in the bath - flooder.

Ever since I tried the new 'Dove', my skin looked younger, was a gentle, pleasant to the touch. The pores are opened. I felt a surge of courage, new strength! .
Although the taste - soap as soap.

A woman doctor - Laura. The doctor asks:.
- What are complaining?.
- Louder, Please!.
- WHAT complain?.
- The husband - idiot. He said that women love the ears.

Criminal News: Today in the town was blown Muhosranske sperm bank.
Killed was the work of thousands of people!.

Real conversation in the chat:.
- HELLO!.
-).
- Where are your eyes???.
-:.

The boss asks the secretary:.
- Do you know Japanese?.
- Yes, of course, I wrote about this in his summary.
-?.
- In the next line after the breast volume.
- Ah! .

There are two psychologists at the bus stop:.
- Something the bus for a long time there.
- Want to talk about it?.

man comes to the doctor and says:.
- Doctor, I hurt the eggs.
Shoot - Pants.
man took off his pants. Doctor surprised:.
- Oh, you have an egg of iron and other wood.
Yes, strange, and I did not notice.
doctor.
- Say, and children do you have?.
Yes, four terminator, and a kick in the school went.